you should probably know...

that i write, when i need to vent.
that i write, when i feel like i have no control over anything.
that i write, when i'm not sure what else to do.
so i put pencil to paper, or my fingers to the keys, and i let loose streams of words, that don't always make sense. that aren't proofread, or filtered. i write from my heart, and sometimes that's a little fuzzy, a little blurry, and a little different.

tonight, i feel confused and alone. i'm not sure why. i think finally everything is catching up to me. every single thing. i feel like no one understands any of this. as i watch my video from the summer--i feel like life was so much easier then, and that i knew what i was doing. i feel like people trust me too much to do the "right" thing. they say i'll know where the "right" place is for me to be. but how do they know? and what makes them think that i will know, either?