frustration and stress

so i know it's only february, but let me tell you, i am already frustrated about what is going to happen in a few months. especially the packing up my entire life here and moving it six hours away...and then starting to work camp soon after that. i'm excited and extremely grateful for another summer to work camp, i just didn't quite realize that i would be working so soon after graduation. and that, my friends, stresses me out. in fact, i'm sitting here eating these mega pizza rolls just thinking about it.

and also my feeling stress me out. i wish i didn't have them, sometimes. most of the time. i just...i have to stop trusting my instinct. like, sometimes something feels right, and it's so not...but sometimes the things that are right, don't feel right at all. so, i don't know what to feel, or at least, what to let myself feel. and my emotions sure are not listening to my head right now, which is probably half of the problem. the other half of the problem is that i'm oblivious.

so for now, i'm going to sigh and enjoy the moment. not worry about what's next. not focus on tomorrow or yesterday. i'm going to put on my PJs and read and trust in God's grace. i'm going to journal my little heart out, in hopes that writing things will make them go away. i'm going to try and trust that God really does know better than i do, and i'm going to be thankful for what i have, instead of missing what i don't (or what i want).