resurfacing.

camp is over. it's been a month or so since i last wrote...partially due to lack of time, and also partially due to lack of things to say. or maybe having too much to say. or maybe, just maybe, i had a lot to say and i was unsure of how to say it. so here goes...the not-so-simple blog i've been meaning to write for the past month, intermixing camp experiences with goodbyes and the future and whatever is to come.



today i woke up after a short night of sleep. saying goodbye was hard. saying goodbye to my site kiddos, and to my ministry, and to campers was hard. saying goodbye to staff was equally as difficult. i may not walk away from this summer with 'a new best friend,' but i do walk away from this summer with an appreciation for differences in personalities and demeanor that help contribute to ministry in a beautiful way. i love each and every person i served with, and they have left an impression in my heart forever. as i said goodbye to people today, i felt the emotions from last summer flood back over me again...when i left philly, i wanted to be anywhere but columbia. anywhere but at usc. anything but bcm president. last year was a good year, and a difficult year, and a year for growth and change. it was hard, but it ended up being worth it.

later on today, i realized that even as i said goodbye to some things--my staff, north greenville, camp until next year--i was saying goodbye to a lot more. leaving north greenville meant that i was officially no longer living in south carolina. now, we all know amy should be ecstatic for this moment...and i thought i was. but the truth is that living in sc has made me who i am today. i can't imagine my life in the future without those things that have defined it while in college in columbia--usc, football, bcm, good friends, mentors, good food...so, in a way, i was saying goodbye to a lot more than just camp. this was, officially, the end of my era in the palmetto state. and that was weird.

i made my way home, crying while driving, unpacked a bit, and slept. went to a baseball game. last night, i began leafing through stuff for the fall. and i realized that it's only in saying goodbye that i get to say hello to some pretty cool stuff. i get to start seminary in the fall at a school that i love. i get to live in a city again, and one that i really like and will probably fall in love with at some point. i get to be in the same town as chiptole, pf changs, cheesecake factory, jim n' nicks, and rojo (get excited/jealous at this point). i get to live five minutes away from the splawn family and be there to meet their new edition :) i get to spend weekends and fun times with lindsey cunningham, who i worked with in philly a year ago. i get to find a new church and be involved in new ministries. i get to make new best friends. i get to see old camp friends from ngu and philly who live nearby. and even though doubt creeps in my head sometimes (because i had these dreams and visions for columbia too, but making friends and getting to this point was tough stuff)...i know that God is in control and has a perfect plan, and i'm excited--i think--about seeing how that unfolds...


goodbyes, hellos...maybe they are all the same after all.