honestly,

i hate complication.  i hate awkward situations. i know that, as a female, i'm supposed to thrive on drama, but really...i don't. sometimes i try to make light of awkward situations--even by myself being awkward--to get rid of the tension.  the truth is that i like clarity.  it's probably why i'm the girl who wears her heart on her sleeve.  you never have to wonder what i'm thinking--you can always see it clearly on my face. clarity. i used to hate that about myself, but now...i find that it's a pretty desirable trait.

so here's the thing. i wish things weren't unclear. i wish people wore their intentions across their face. while the honesty might be frustrating, at least...it would be clear.

i wonder how many times i've used the word clear so far in this blog? hmm...just four.

but, i guess i've come to realize that complication is a part of life. and life isn't always clear, either.  it's okay to not understand. it's okay to not have all the answers. and, it's okay to wish the people who had the answers would just give them to you.

here's what i think about complication: it makes us appreciate what's clear. and when we're trying to discern in the midst of complication, we can hold onto what we know--about others, and about ourselves, and trust in that.

and in the mean time, we can enjoy life and laugh a lot, and ride with the windows down, and dance around our kitchen to "a girl named tennessee" and take in every moment, even the complicated ones.

because i believe eventually, things will become clear, and i will see fully [1st corinthians 13:12].